Thursday, December 30, 2010

Janome DC2010

So I found a modern sewing machine I actually LOVE! It's called the Janome DC2010. I went to OK Sewing in Omaha the other day as I wanted an opinion on the various Janome's I had been looking at online and was really intersted in getting a basic overview of any modern sewing machine.

When I was six years old my grandmother, Edna, taught me how to sew on a Singer 301a. It's the primary sewing machine I've used for twenty years. It's a solid machine, well built and I really wanted one. It's the only sewing machine I've had my eyes on for years now.

My mother-in-law, Sue, owned her own quilt shop for years and has been a professional seamstress for most of her professional life. Having been brought up around fancy machines, sewing, embroidery, and sergers my husband, Jason, had his own opinions on what kind of machine I should have. He didn't want to spend our money on the Singer 301a. Until recently I didn't understand why. He just kept telling me that I should get a newer machine and simply learn to use it, then I would come to love something other than my beloved Singer 301a. Jason spoke with his mother about this topic and her favorite brand of machines are Janome's so I began my research.With her extensive experience there had to be a reason?

When I came into the store I informed the clerk of my beloved Singer 301a that did not meet the approval of my husband or mother-in-law. I also let her know that I was interested in finding a very basic Janome if I was to get a sewing machine other than the Singer which I so loved. This woman was well informed about not only the Janome's in stock but also the Singer 301a located in a display with all the other antique sewing machines, most made of black cast-iron. The direct comparison of the Singer 301a with the newer, much fancier Janome DC2010 was the selling point for me. She knew the features of what I had been using for so many years, how the machine operated and the differences between that machine and the Janome DC2010. I was not only impressed with the newer machine but understood how I could benefit from this over the Singer 301a.

The Janome DC2010 has fifty stitches, some similar to embroidery stitches and also had both serger and applique stitching functions. The needle threaded itself. The bobbin was incredibly easy to place in the machine! The button hole function is a piece of cake! This machine will spoil me. I absolutely adore it! The few things I may have questions about when I'm able to purchase it can all be answered in a one on one class purposed to teach me how to use my new sewing machine. Now we only need to save up the four hundred dollars for my purchase and be done with it! I'm so happy I could burst. :-)

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Merry Christmas!

Christmas can be a very difficult time for many who have Bipolar to get though, although for me most of the time it can remain stress free. One thing that most people who know me need to realize is that if you want a specific item for Christmas, ask for it at the beginning of that year, say January or February. I've become quite the planner to cope with unnecessary stress in my life. So to keep the Christmas season from freaking me out due to business or financial issues I shop year round.

As a matter of fact I already have three of the gifts for my niece Zyanah ready for next year's Christmas. I've found over the years that if I do my Christmas shopping well in advance, usually finishing by Thanksgiving when most people are beginning I have very little stress surrounding Christmas.

Unfortunately this year I did have five or six gifts that either changed or needed to be done after Thanksgiving. I found with that and the idea I would make all the Christmas cards with materials I already own I added some unexpected stress to my holiday. Not good. Hopefully next year will be different.

I was still able to manage my stress but it was difficult at times because I don't like to get so busy. I become overwhelmed and apparently even if I'm not stressed I appear to be, so when I am it looks as though the whole world is going to come crashing down upon me.

It did help that I refilled my last prescription which I was saving for an emergency as most of the year I have not had the blessing of medical insurance thus I pay 40x the amount I usually do for my mood stabilizers. After the first refill in three months I feel so much better! No more migraines for one! I was getting them at least 3-4 times a week...sometimes less but only then the migraine would last for several days. I did some research and found that there is a direct link between my prescription Limictal and the relief of chronic migraines although it has not been approved for that treatment in the United States. Currently it's only approved for Bipolar 1 and Epilepsy.

In conclusion while I try to not let the Christmas season stress me out, sometimes it will and I have to deal with it. We all have to try and manage this stress to the best of our abilities and maybe up the positive self talk more than usual. We are never fully in control and sometimes we just need to say: Enough! It's not a big deal if I don't bake during this season or wrap all the presents super pretty or even send Christmas cards when I'm not feeling well. Cut yourself a break, step back and just look at the children around you. They can be so happy with so little and we can as well. Simplify and live a little less stressfully.

Merry Christmas Everyone!!

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Do I ever wish that I didn't have Bipolar?

I have a Yes and No response to this.

Yes because...

I could live without the fear of "passing" this along to my children or relying on my husband so much for support and the fear that I'm a burden to him due to my Bipolar. I also don't like the fact that I need medication in order to appear normal. After being diagnosed friends and family in the medical profession have confessed they either knew something wasn't quite right or had guessed I suffered untreated from Bipolar. It's not something you just tell a person, however so they never said anything to me.

Mostly the severe ups and downs could be wonderful to live without. During the depressed side of Bipolar I'm most fearful of myself as it's the most detrimental to my life. I'm both suicidal and unstable and the possibility of loosing my job is high due to severe irritability and the feeling of a need to stay home and never leave my bed. On the manic side, I have a lot of debt and no license due to my actions in a manic state.

No  because...

I love manic states when I don't end up doing anything really stupid. I get so much done. I have no need to sleep which was wonderful in college for obvious reasons. When I cared for my nephews during a manic state it was easy to take care of three boys under the age of three because I felt I could run after them forever. Overall I adore my productivity in a manic state. I'm like the energizer bunny!!

I've come to understand my father and his struggles. He passed away a few years ago, after I sought help but before I was properly diagnosed. Ironically I was given the same diagnosis he had, Bipolar Type 1, Anxiety Disorder and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Thinking back I don't excuse his behavior because he never continued treatment, which he could control however I now understand, which allows me to forgive him for such behavior. In a sense I'm happy to know exactly why he had the thoughts and the actions he did. There is nothing logical about why we have the thoughts we do however it's now understandable.
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